Friday, 9 December 2016

ADULT SHOP - short story


I went in an adult shop in Birmingham and true to the shop's sign on its store front the place was full of them. Curiously in this shop the adults were allowed to roam freely about the shop floor and it seemed none of them had price tags on. "How much do you cost to buy?" I asked one of the man adults.
He repeated exactly what I said but with a slight upward inflection when saying the word 'buy'.
I'll not bother with that one I thought to myself. I need one that can do more things than just repeat what I say.
The place went silent and I noticed the other adults had started looking at me with their eyebrows furrowed so I began walking towards the door
Ah! I understand what you mean now”, the man adult I'd questioned shouted. "You're looking for someone you can 'buy'".
This time he said 'buy' with an inflection that started low, went up before coming back down again.
This adult must have a very low CPU speed I thought. How it ever made it into production was baffling.
"Yes. That's what I said at the beginning", I replied.
After I had said this, the eyebrows of the other adults simultaneously corrected themselves and they began to roam again which caused me to presume they were all on the same demonstration setting.
"The place you're looking for is about 300 yards down the road as you come out of here. Go under the bridge and You'll have to wait until 10pm for the 'shop' to open”. The man adult's left eye temporarily malfunctioned as he said 'shop'. “It's near the taxi rank"
That's a very unsociable time to open, I thought. The quality of the products must be very high and worth the inconvenience. “What is the name of the shop?", I asked
He paused for several moments before telling me I would know when I saw it.
I followed the man adult's instructions which were surprisingly very accurate and caused me to reconsider the possibility that I might have made a mistake in overlooking him for purchase.
I had read a journal about these so-called pop-up shops and was keen to be present at the moment one emerged. 10 o'clock came and passed but still nothing resembling an adult shop was within view.
At midnight I concluded the man adult had most likely given me incorrect information as a result of a virus. As I turned to head back my attention was drawn to a glowing red light emanating from a small cabin-like building.
"This is definitely the place I thought. The cabin had a window and in the window sat a female adult behind a desk. I looked up at the shop's store front sign and it said Private Hire".

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