Reality Softeners

It was a lot easier in the past to label cool looking people socialising with their buddies while wearing sunglasses indoors, as being pretentious. That was until I reaped the unintended benefits of forgetting to charge my bluetooth earphones before leaving the house, and then finding that they acted as exquisite reality softeners; a device for when the intensity of real life needs the bite taken out of it.

Glasses that not only allow us to see, but allow us to see less. Earphones used in order to allow us to hear less. Many people these days use their mobile phones in order to not have to talk to others, and will pretend there is someone on the other end of the line to reduce the anxiety caused by having to wait alone in public for a friend to arrive. I've had many great conversations with myself over the years as the actual friend I'd be waiting for took forever to get there, and my phantom phone friend would find themselves obliged to probe deeper and deeper into the minutiae of gibberish I'd be spouting at them.

It got me thinking about the class of technologies which return once again to their former evolution when they are without power. Like escalators robbed of electricity, that suddenly find their hypnotic majesty has been taken away from them without warning, and have been forced to return to their former lives as excessively ornate stairs. This must be a crushing fall from grace for something which knows it is capable of so much more.

moldy peach

Hang on...you're conflating not building someone up with infecting someone with a disease which is bad for them. This is a disingenuous comparison in my opinion, and likely to make people not able to find positive things to say to others unnecessarily anxious.


"building someone up is not the same as saying positive things. In fact, insincere support and praise can lead to a person being unable to handle criticism."


"building someone up is about enriching someone’s life and challenging their comforts. 

It presents itself in many forms"


Yes, I agree. Building someone up isn't necessarily saying positive things, although it could be. It is possible to build up someone's confidence by saying positive things to them.

Are you saying then that the moldy peach in what you posted resembled insincere support? What you then go on to say about the negative effects of insincere support and praise I think lies beyond of the scope of my objection. Again, I agree, but it's a bit tangential.

If building someone up is about challenging their comforts, then that moldy peach is definitely challenging the comfort of the other healthy fruits in the fruit bowl! More importantly, the sight of the moldy peach also challenges the comfort of those who don't live in the fruit bowl. Us. Like the people who share the same house as the moldy peach, who walk past it each day, refusing to take responsibility for its pathetic demise. The moldier the peach becomes, the easier it is to justify not having to touch or engage with it.

Moldy fruits in the fruit bowl, left to become so putrid that they now only induce disgust instead of a nourishing pleasure, is a testament to why humans are faced with the kinds of challenges they are facing today. We are given beautiful things by nature all the time, but then repeatedly watch these things rot slowly without taking action, then dare cry out with a faux distress at the upsetting scene left for us when forced to clean up the product of our neglect and constant denial. Oh! What has become of these delicious fruits! Poor things! 

To me it feels like we are blaming the fruits for becoming moldy out of frustration that we failed to savour their beauty when we had the chance.

Science of Sleeping - The Tip of the Iceberg

Feel free to say "Duh!", but the best way to eliminate unwanted chatter in the mind, improve focus and concentration, banish anxiety and nervousness of an origin you can't work out, reduce the disabling effects of feeling overly self-conscious and over-analysis of everything which leads to you limiting yourself, improve the clarity and quality of your thoughts, increase your conviction and confidence in any decisions that you make, reduce the rattling bodily tensions and tightness in the chest which has no obvious psychological reason to be there, improve the quality of spontaneous ideas which just come to you without having to try, increase your willingness to accept and respond in the moment to the chaotic randomness of daily life...etc etc etc...

The best way to achieve all this in one fell swoop, for FREE TOO! - is by getting 8 hours of blissful deep sleep. I know. Duh!!!

Whenever I'm fortunate enough to have such a rejuvenating gift bestowed upon me I praise and give thanks to Hypnos as soon as I arise - The God of Sleep. Mate! You da real MVP!!!

But in addition to my belief that a fictitious Greek deity is responsible for my peaceful slumber, there must be a science, or at least, concrete measures I can take to maximise the chances of sleeping well. 3 things that were different about last night's sleep which I'll be trying again tonight to see if it wasn't just a fluke were:

1. Using a sleeping mask to block out all light. I don't want the sun to wake me "naturally" thanks. I'd rather have some more quality Zzzzzzzzz... instead. The actual truth which led to this revelation that everyone apart from me already knows was that I fell asleep with my virtual reality headset on again. This is something I unintentionally do often, and friends who have photographed me in this dystopian state have been compelled to create albums with these images because it looks so weird.

2. Bed is set at a slight decline to utilise gravity. Two notches of wood of around 1/2 inch were placed underneath the legs connected to the headboard. Not noticeable enough to feel like I was kipping on a slope, but enough to encourage bodily fluids to continue on their natural paths and not to remain stagnant as they normally would do on a perfectly horizontal mattress.

3. Pillow height and shape was fashioned to fit the space in between my shoulder and head perfectly, so that both head, but more importantly, my neck, felt wonderfully cradled when sleeping on my side.

Again, these mundane insights are probably what many people do anyway, but I think there are also a lot of people who just jump into bed and hope for the best, who see sleep as a game of Russian Roulette for their mind and body. Sleep is where your day starts before it starts so it's crucial this period is as high a quality as you can make it. I feel the same way about the importance of comfortable footwear and the use of insoles to correct one's gait, but can't be arsed going into that right now.

Being in Love

Traditionally, when we say "I am in love with you", we are actually saying that we are in love with ourselves, because being in love with someone involves the other person being present in the same space as we are - at the same time. If they are not, then it simply isn't true that you're in love with them. Love is a physical state. Not a state that is physiological in origin, like a condition, a temperament or an emotion; but an environment which exerts a physical influence upon anyone and anything within it.

Being in love with someone is dependent upon the two of you inhabiting the same space and same time. If the object of our desire is not present in the same space and time as us then we are merely projecting those desires into the ether, into an empty void where only we alone reside with a mirage of our object of affections. If we are ever able to see another's spirit when in love, then that in itself is confirmation that you truly are - for love is the environment which makes it possible for us to do so.

Love is the shared space and time in which essences are able to meet and speak to each other. 

I saw a man, who I later found out was homeless, embodying everything I despise about Capitalism's ability to thrive

I'm not at all au fait with how the world of busking works, but to me this is just plain wrong!

I was walking through Liverpool city centre, late again for an important appointment, and came across a humble looking busker standing noble and upright in the middle of the shopping precinct facing straight ahead, delivering his own takes on classic rock ballads over semi-professional backing tracks. Foreigner's 'I Want to Know What Love Is' was done justice by him and I was left utterly convinced he truly did want to know.

The man's outfit and demeanour however was disappointingly drab and uninspiring, and so no passersby had stopped to watch him, but his voice was electrifying and reverberated through Liverpool 1 with real majesty! Powerful. So much depth and feeling! I was moved, but didn't cry. 20 metres further on though, a guy who looked like he lived locally, wearing a suit in a colour which hurt my eyes and needed dry cleaning at least twice, was convincingly mouthing the words of the rock ballad man's powerful renditions into a cheap plastic microphone I refused to believe had ever worked.

The local looking man possessed an effortless charisma and compelling presence which was spellbinding scousers and tourists left, right and centre - hypnotizing them into believing that it was he who was performing hit after anthemic hit! The nerve of this pretender! This shameless thief was casually siphoning the honest rock ballad man's soul in broad daylight mere metres away from him, gladly accepting any loose change children thrust towards his money hat by their shy parents would chuck in. The poor rock ballad man could do nothing but soldier on through his set list, trying his best to appear indifferent to the mime artist's plunderous charms just an underarm throw to his right away.

Sickening.