"I Am Honoured"

A friend sent me a poem and there were some interesting parts in it that I wanted to share my thoughts with them about. They said "I would be honoured". I replied, "No need to suck my dick!". There then followed a period of ambiguous and possibly uncomfortable silence (not at my end).

After a while I sent them this to try and resolve things:

Just to even out any possible imbalance lingering in the remnants of the tone left... It's not that your intention was ever to fellate me with praise prose, it was more likely the case that you were simply appreciative to receive any kind of feedback or critique about your work from a friend. And so my sensitivity and heightened response did come from a valid place, but a place which seemed to have issued a voice imbued with a drop or two of venom, a substance mildly caustic in order to seal up a certain pathway forever. An act of cauterisation. A heated implement or caustic substance applied to the skin or flesh to seal it and stop further bleeding or prevent future infection. A pathway was sealed. A route forward that is an inbuilt scripted response; that of you feeling honoured that I should ever be interested enough to want to share my thoughts with you about your thoughts. But should I not be equally honoured to be gifted an encounter which compels me to want to share part of myself with someone else? And so my honouring of you was already embedded in the gesture of wanting to offer you my time in the form of my thoughts about yours. I honoured you before you, me, and so your declaration of being honoured was simply to say thank you. No problem at all. You're very welcome! X

Epilogue To An Ended Friendship

EPILOGUE: I thought that it could have been the result of my mental exhaustion yesterday that was causing me to be exceptionally forthright and zealous, but after waking up I only feel more certain of myself and the difference in the paths that we've decided to take.

And I'm glad that its happening via text. In words. I can believe it more, because facts are not able to cloth themselves in the disguises of physical appearance. It's all there on the page in black and white. No illusions can be performed to divert the audience's attention.

Which is why this really is the end. Our goals are irreconcilable because they're being guided by completely opposing truths, although it seemed at one point that they might be converging.

Your belief that unskilled thoughtless graft in the service of a ravenous profit obsessed organism like Amazon, whose soul preoccupation is everlasting growth on a planet which can't ever get any bigger to accommodate this delusional mindset, left me stunned.

But then you let me know that Amazon's biggest distribution warehouse had recently met its targets. Apparently. That was the word on the street that someone heard through the grapevine. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that or even think??? It means nothing to me.

Presenting me news that this monolithic organisation whose appetite has now grown so large, classes of human beings are springing into existence keen to have only one purpose while they toil for a living: to keep feeding this systemic idea that giving rich people great deals and bargains at the expense of poor people they never see, don't have to know of or think about is just fine. Nah man. Fuck that! You've always been a bit "Hey Guys! Let's not talk about that depressing topic right now yeah? This is supposed to be a dinner party" - kind of person. But obviously you can't skirt around where you truly stand forever. No wonder you're afraid of expressing what you actually think online and have fears about how your friends will judge you. It's so upsetting. I'm so not like you at all. I can't live a life in that way.

To be happy to invest sizable chunks of your waking hours to a project like Jeff's is best undertaken by people who don't think, can't think, are incapable of reflection, and see their labouring task as destiny itself. You think you are using Amazon to get what you need in order to achieve the success you say you're destined for, but you don't realise what the true price is that you've paid for reducing yourself in such a crude and myopic way, which mocks the vision of what you can be if you strived continuously, instead of the momentary elations of epiphany you savour at your leisure within the grounds of comfort and security. The more I want to be totally honest with you, the more I think I'm likely to cause you pain, which obviously isn't my intention here. It couldn't be intention here because the manner in which I'm trying to hurt you is far too floral and whimsical to ever go straight for the jugular. Writing 'THE END' in finishing off my message yesterday, I admit was a bit dramatic and OTT. But whether it had been well-tempered or even quite muted, the message that it was conveying had a gravity that can't be ignored. Something has ended and I'm not sure what. And things that have ended are sometimes resurrected and given the opportunity for a sequel, which is more often than not very cheesy. But for now, I hope that you're right. I really hope you get to where you want to be and the manner in which you do this is something you feel sure of, because I have nothing more to offer or say.

We're already living in a Black Mirror reality - How Facebook is polticising friendship itself

I've just logged into facebook. Facebook greeted me, as it normally does. There was a small note at the top of my feed from - 'The Facebook privacy team'. For some reason I thought I would actually bother to read it this time. It felt a little bit like I was the cashier in the supermarket who had been asked how they were and in a protested by not sticking to the script by saying "Fine, thank you".

>You control who can like and comment on your posts
Ben, it looks like someone recently liked your post. We want you to know how to control who can like and comment on your posts

Initially I thought, cool. More control. I don't want any perverts look at my stuff and exciting themselves over it. Shortly after this moment of empowerment had passed, I considered a scenario in which I am in a pub with friends and I want to shout over that I like my friends new style. I open my mouth but find that nothing is coming out because my friend with the new hairstyle has forbid me to express any fondness for it. They now look over to me and we make eye contact. We both know that I've been muted in this social setting. I feel really frustrated and obviously no longer wish to express how much I like my so-called friend's hair. I suddenly feel ostracized by the whole group, perhaps I'm just over reacting? But I do have a horrible deep pang of paranoid fear that even more of the  people I'm presently sat with, that are joking and flashing smiles at me could have actually censored my ability to like their things. find myself sat there in uncomfortable silence, feeling increasingly emasculated as the party vibe din of the pub continues unabated by my realisation,

A new facebook saga in the making


Facebook again creates and hands us a another power which is essentially destabilizing in its nature, and as users are bestowed with this new level of "control", it helps alleviate facebook of blame for any of the dynamic corollaries that subsequently take place.

On the surface it looks like a courteous little reminder of what facebook features are available to you, but it's banal placement and servile language help mask the reality that facebook is gradually becoming a highly politicised space, and they are now moving into the business of politicising friendship itself.