EPILOGUE: I thought that it could have been the result of my mental exhaustion yesterday that was causing me to be exceptionally forthright and zealous, but after waking up I only feel more certain of myself and the difference in the paths that we've decided to take.
And I'm glad that its happening via text. In words. I can believe it more, because facts are not able to cloth themselves in the disguises of physical appearance. It's all there on the page in black and white. No illusions can be performed to divert the audience's attention.
Which is why this really is the end. Our goals are irreconcilable because they're being guided by completely opposing truths, although it seemed at one point that they might be converging.
Your belief that unskilled thoughtless graft in the service of a ravenous profit obsessed organism like Amazon, whose soul preoccupation is everlasting growth on a planet which can't ever get any bigger to accommodate this delusional mindset, left me stunned.
But then you let me know that Amazon's biggest distribution warehouse had recently met its targets. Apparently. That was the word on the street that someone heard through the grapevine. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that or even think??? It means nothing to me.
Presenting me news that this monolithic organisation whose appetite has now grown so large, classes of human beings are springing into existence keen to have only one purpose while they toil for a living: to keep feeding this systemic idea that giving rich people great deals and bargains at the expense of poor people they never see, don't have to know of or think about is just fine. Nah man. Fuck that! You've always been a bit "Hey Guys! Let's not talk about that depressing topic right now yeah? This is supposed to be a dinner party" - kind of person. But obviously you can't skirt around where you truly stand forever. No wonder you're afraid of expressing what you actually think online and have fears about how your friends will judge you. It's so upsetting. I'm so not like you at all. I can't live a life in that way.
To be happy to invest sizable chunks of your waking hours to a project like Jeff's is best undertaken by people who don't think, can't think, are incapable of reflection, and see their labouring task as destiny itself. You think you are using Amazon to get what you need in order to achieve the success you say you're destined for, but you don't realise what the true price is that you've paid for reducing yourself in such a crude and myopic way, which mocks the vision of what you can be if you strived continuously, instead of the momentary elations of epiphany you savour at your leisure within the grounds of comfort and security.
The more I want to be totally honest with you, the more I think I'm likely to cause you pain, which obviously isn't my intention here. It couldn't be intention here because the manner in which I'm trying to hurt you is far too floral and whimsical to ever go straight for the jugular.
Writing 'THE END' in finishing off my message yesterday, I admit was a bit dramatic and OTT. But whether it had been well-tempered or even quite muted, the message that it was conveying had a gravity that can't be ignored. Something has ended and I'm not sure what. And things that have ended are sometimes resurrected and given the opportunity for a sequel, which is more often than not very cheesy. But for now, I hope that you're right. I really hope you get to where you want to be and the manner in which you do this is something you feel sure of, because I have nothing more to offer or say.
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